so, i came across this sad video of a doctor. he talked about how a 4 year old girl was diagnosed with brain tumor.. he mentioned that the first thing her father asked him was, “will i be able to walk her down the aisle one day?”.. after watching this video, i started overthinking.. with everything going on between my dad and i.. and how we no longer talk and how brandon tells me that my dad doesnt even want to speak about james’ existence.. it made me think.. what if james and i get married one day?.. will my dad even want to walk me down the aisle?.. will he even want to be at the wedding at all?.. this thought, made me sad.. i love my dad. so much, but his words are like knives.. to the point with no soft edges. i can not talk to him and live a happy life. it sucks, i want to talk to him, i want to visit.. i want to see him, but it’s so hard, and he doesnt understand what im going through. i just wish things were different..